Wedding Appropriate

July 1, 2016

On Sunday at 3.14pm a Facebook page for a New Zealand radio station The Breeze Waikiki shared this picture

and captioned asking the audience if it was ‘wedding appropriate’ attire. The post went on to explain that the Queen, (who remained anonymous but is a friend of the writer of the original post) in the picture was at a wedding on the previous weekend where she was allegedly met with quite a bit of bullying. She claims to have been treated rudely by other women and targeted for wearing this dress, “a women came up from behind and slapped her on the bum and claimed it was a dare from a group of other women who were watching and snickering. Someone else seemingly purposely spilt beer on her.” The post was concluded with “Ok but wait, she wants to know, did she bring any of this on herself by wearing this to the wedding…..?” I thought Id take the time to answer that question my self. With a Big. Fat. NO. No my dear sexy tight dress Queen you did not. In fact looking back on my wedding I am disappointed that I didn’t write on the invitations, “Please flaunt it, flaunt your body, whether it be rolls or muscles, skinnyminnies and magnificent curves, tall ones, short ones, round ones straight ones, I want a selection. Id like to see them all flaunted. I especially like what you wore to this wedding because it oozes pride and fuck, you should be SOOOOO proud, that bod of yours looks very well worked out, you don’t roll out of bed, land on your Maccas left overs, peel them off your thigh and shove them in your gob to get a bod like this, this is dedication. I am dedicated too, I had kids, I LOOOOVE chocolate, people recovering from car accidents and strokes are better runners then me, its true, I have seen them at the gym, their OTs and them laugh at me. Its cool, I actually only go to the gym to get away from my kids, sometimes I hide in the change rooms eating biscuits, on my iPhone while the kids are at the creche, heaven. Sorry sexy lady in the tight dress at the wedding, Im getting sidetracked. I saw a lot of comments saying that you were trying to out do the bride at the wedding…. I don’t know if any of these commenters have ever been a bride, especially considering a lot of them were middle aged men, fuck stranger things have happened. But from my experience, being a bride is the one day where you couldn’t give a flying fuck what your friends are wearing, you are too wrapped up in the glory that is you, you try and be polite, kind and considerate, but in your heads its all “me me me me me me, Im glorious, Im amazing, look at my spray tan, me me me, I love my hair, don’t touch me Im fabulous, me me me, who am I marrying again? me me me Oh there the lucky fucker is. Me me me me me me” To think that a bride would waste her breath being jealous is an insult to the self indulgent total legendary, no fucks diva that is the modern day bride. Do not worry about out doing a bride, you never will!!!!!! But sexy Lady in the tight dress, now that we are talking Id really like to tell you something that is much more serious then a glorious bride being amazing on her wedding day.. The only thing that was inappropriate at this wedding that you went to on the weekend was the way YOU were treated. In fact, inappropriate isn’t the word. That was utterly disgusting. Nobody has the right to laugh at you, spill drinks on you or slap your sexy bitch arse. Ever. Is it ok to bully a Queen because you think she is dressed inappropriately? No Is it ok to bully a Queen because you are jealous of her? No. So when is it ok to bully a Queen? Never Arseholes. You keep on Queening on my sexy friend, if I ever get married again (No offence Bill) Im finding you, inviting you and getting you an elephant to ride in on. Pride in ones self should be celebrated, you should be celebrated. Love Con you can read the original post here xxx   Pre-order my book here!

Constance Hall

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Constance Hall

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