Support for Sally Faulkner

April 27, 2016

Like so many Australian women, I can’t get Sally Faulkner out of my mind.

I never intended to write about the case, my opinion is too biased, my thoughts are too negative. I am too infuriated by this case and I know that anger leads you nowhere, so I just waited… for the anger to pass. When I first heard about Sally, like everyone a shudder sent straight through me, as I kissed my babies and pulled them into sleep that little bit closer to their mum. I went on to read as many stories as I could hoping for one that carried some good news. That good news never came. Instead the stories went from bad to worse until we finally lost hope last week. I wasn’t shocked, real life doesn’t always have a happy ending. What did shock me was the lack of support I saw in so many comments regarding the story. “Well she shouldn’t have broken the law” “He technically didn’t do anything wrong” “She was just as bad as him, they both made stupid mistakes” No. She is not just as bad as him. Sally never ceased contact, Sally agreed to a reasonable amount of contact. Ali did not. Sally was so determined that even though she had split up with Ali, his children deserved a relationship with him, so she agreed to long holidays in a distant country. Sally is a reasonable woman. But Ali Elamine is abusing his children. Keeping your children from contacting a loving parent is abuse. It is abusing your parental privilege by attempting to hurt your ex-partner. When I saw him on the Project the last week I was taken aback, surprised that he was showing his face on Australian television, surprised that this cat who got the creme couldn’t just smugly lick his paws in privacy. But then, anybody who has ever been intimate with a narcissist will tell you how deeply important others opinions of narcissists are to them. Ali was never going to walk away from the media, without one last attempt at ruining Sally’s reputation. Isolating Sally would be Ali’s ultimate reward. Ali Elamine is now the envy of all controlling men world wide, he controls his ex partner with the one thing she would live and die for, she is bound by his conditions, if she so much as defends herself against him publicly she runs the risk of never seeing her children again, her life is at the discretion of Ali. And then I read it, details of her last encounter with her kids. Sally’s sobs, as she said goodbye to her babies at the play centre. I knew my anger would not pass, yet I had to write something anyway, if for nothing else then just to vent my own anger. I am not a journalist, I am not trained, keeping my opinions to myself isn’t something that I am ‘employed’ to do. Bill walked in on me crying in bed, reading Sally’s story and my first thought was, ”If we broke up, could I trust him to take our children on a holiday back to England?” Of course I could – Bill would never rip our children away from me, but then… didn’t Sally trust Ali? Are cases like this going to affect peoples decision-making when entering into interracial relationships? The tragedies just keep coming. I think Ali Emaline appears to be enjoying watching Sally suffer, and there is something incredibly unsettling about that fact alone. I think Ali is a cruel and calculated man, I think his jealously over her ability to move on consumed him and his constant references to Sally’s new husband and new baby are an obvious indication that his actions are a result of punishment and control. Because as anyone with 2 brain cells can tell you, when a woman or man moves on with a new relationship or a new baby, her or his ability to love and care for their children from a previous marriage will not be slightly hindered, if anything changes it is the growth of more love. We have a loving mum who’s babies are no longer her’s and we have 2 babies who can’t kiss their mum goodnight, babies who were never given the choice, babies who desperately want their mum. The world is a darker place and a lot of hearts have broken with Sally Faulkner’s. All except Ali Elamine’s, who can cross this off as a win for the sake of his ego. Egos are the uninvited guest of parenthood, ideally checked in at the door. For a big country Australia is a small community and Sally Faulkner is an old friend of a distant relative of mine Annette. Annette has known Sally for a very long time and has spoken to me often about not only Sally’s heartache but the horror everyone is feeling regarding the public back lash she has arrived home to. Sally tried – her husband wanted to move home to Lebanon and she moved there with their children for him for 2 years. Already feeling unsafe when the car bomb went off in 2013 killing 27 people in Beirut she took her children home to Australia. Any mum who had the choice to raise her children, children who call Australia home, in a country free from bombs and terrorist threats would do so. If watching 60 minutes and seeing a women like Sally explain that her six year old daughter Lahela handed Sally her ring, telling her that it was so she wouldn’t “forget her” didn’t compel you to help this Queen, nothing I say will. How can we help? I believe the story is far from over, I like to believe that love prevails and the children will be reunited with their brave and deserving mum, I even hold out hope that Ali could come to his senses and agree to share custody. But all I know for sure is that we, the Queens, are presented with a fierce, determined, courageous warrier of a mother who right in front of our eyes has lost everything. It’s our job to do what we do best, we need to support her, she needs us. Please comment on her stories with your hearts, this is no time for judgements or cruelty, Sally Faulkner reads the comments written about her, she needs to know that we are an army of love who support her and are truly broken by what has happened to her, she needs her Queens right now lets show her how much we care. I support every decision she has made, I only wish there was a better outcome. I would have done what Sally did and those who say they wouldn’t had better hope they are never tested. Con.

Constance Hall

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Constance Hall

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