Parental Alienation

December 29, 2016

You remember Sally Faulkner right?

Her children were supposed to be holidaying in Beirut with their dad, only they were never returned home… Sally later shared he cut off all contact to her, their mother, torturing her and devastating the kids. In a failed attempted to recover them with 60 Minutes, Sally became very well known. Then the internet did what the internet does and instead of supporting a woman on the edge, a women who had lost it all at the hands of who she deeply felt was an abusive and controlling man, it turned on her. Labeling her whatever they felt the need to label her, in order to not have to treat her like a victim. Often people struggle to accept women as victims, it doesn’t sit well with society. They like to use terms like “asking for it,” and “manipulative,” when confronted with a woman who truly is simply a victim. I don’t know why, maybe if we see it as somehow the victim’s fault we feel more assured that it won’t happen to us. But unfortunately, marrying a fuckwit (male or female) happens as spontaneously as being struck by lightning, there’s no discrimination. People change and then lives are ruined.

I learned a long time ago that you don’t need to be a fool to be fooled by the wrong man. But bet your visitation rights on it…… Sally is a victim. A victim of parental alienation, a term that’s far more serious than a bunch of blokes sitting at a pub bitching about their ex’s. And the saddest part is that Sally isn’t the only victim of Parental Alienation. Her beloved children are suffering just as much. Sally has no contact with her children, none. She scrolls the internet for hours hoping to find a sign or a photo to show her that her babies are happy. So last week when Sally’s mum’s friend found that her children’s school had put up a photo of her beloved daughter’s class she jumped on it to zoom in on gorgeous Lahela. But the photo broke her to tears, the photo broke me to tears and I’m sure it’s moving you as we speak.   Sally’s close friend Lisa wrote this post and wanted us to read it. “There is a little girl in the photo who looks like she is a million miles away. She possibly is, a million miles away with her mummy, in the only place she is allowed… Her mind. Where she goes to relive the memories of the times she had 2 parents in her life” Full post is here. That photo reminded me of a saying that I recently learned to be true, “There is no such thing as other peoples children.” If you felt at all maternal looking at that photo of a little girl who needs her mum, you understand that saying too. She is our little girl, our little broken hearted girl.

Sally wrote this to me yesterday, “People say a child taken by a stranger is horrific and requires urgent help. But when a child is taken by another parent they assume it’s ok because the child is still loved and has its needs met. But the truth is that a lot of the time parental alienation neglects the child’s emotional needs in a haze of hate and revenge. Ali took my kids because he knew how much they meant to me and he thrives on hurting me. But what he can’t see is the pain in our children eyes. I am lost, nobody is helping me, 300 unanswered emails, crying at lawyers that this is just another night without my children. The Family Law Courts need an overhaul.” How could someone find a role for a child in a game of hate and revenge? Being friends with Sally can feel like being friends with someone with a terminal illness at times, you love them, you like each other’s photos on Facebook, you inbox them when something relevant comes up, you see her smile and you automatically smile because you know, that deep down she is suffering in ways that you hope to never relate to. And you’d do anything in your power to make things better for her. But you just can’t. I wonder if that sweet little girl knows that on the other side of the world, is a mum who fights every day, who cries every day, who send her love every day and who is sitting in a crowded room looking out of the window with the exact same look of pain on her face.

For Sally’s story, download or buy her book “All for my Children” instead of reading any of the bullshit clickbait stories in the media. Love you Sally. Con xx

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Constance Hall

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Constance Hall

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