Bill and I had only just gotten back together for a few months when I fell pregnant with the twins. I look back on that year as the worst year of my life. So depressing.
Still working things out our relationship was 1 step forward and 2 steps back and when I’m pregnant I can’t rationalise, I’m not even a very good rationaliser when I’m not. I cried every day, we lost our connection and I lost my shit. I was so depressed, I even sent my bestie a message that contained the words “wish I was dead” it was meant to be a bit jokey but besties know best. She was worried. One day I had my mum look after the kids so that I could stay in bed and cry/stare at the wall/cry again/eat/cry, I decided to lug my sorry arse to the doctor and get a referral to a psych. Best thing I ever did. Juliana #anotherqueen, my new psych became my god. She told me, that I was quite deeply co-dependant, or something like that, I wasn’t really listening, I was too busy thinking to myself “I love this women so much, I hope she never retires, what will I do if she retires? I’ll find her at her home, where does she live?” #codepentanciesabitch She taught me to stop dwelling on what was wrong, stop thinking about the future. Make today’s happiness and calmness my priority. The future can wait until then. 1 thing that stood out for me during my time with my gorgeous queen psych that I want to share with any of my queens who are feeling lonely or miserable or like the funny, sexy guy they fell for is now an arrogant, mean wank stain. Socialise, away from your home. Even when you really don’t feel like it. Make yourself get out of the house and force one of your friends, (I say friends not family because of all the pressures and responsibilities families come with) call a queen to have a coffee, or a picnic, or a walk on the beach with you, or come to the park with you while you drink a bottle of vodka and flash your tits to on coming traffic, whatevs. Even if you really can not be fucked. Do it. It sounds so simple, but it literally saved my life. Socialising online is not enough, face to face is therapeutic, it calms your soul, it gives you energy, it gets you out of the four walls. Something really magic happens when 2 or more queens get together, through support and laughter. Aim for once a day, make it your priority, before everything else, you will have nothing left to give if you don’t prioritise your mental state. Call a queen. If you don’t have a queen to call, write in the comment section your suburb and see if there’s a queen who can come and grab a coffee with you. Let’s tell loneliness to chomp on a big fat dick, together. I’m in Fremantle WA if you need a queen!! #queensofconstance #likeaqueen