Bill’s Announcement

March 3, 2016

Bill has an announcement to make ladies!!!!

He’s made his vasectomy appointment!!!

Is it wrong that I’m getting all worried now… Feeling a little separation anxiety towards his little sperm army? Like one more kid could have been acceptable???

Oh fuck no, all I have to ask myself is if I’m ready to do night feeds again… Fuck no.

And Bill certainly does not want any more babies.

I complain about Bill a lot, I truly believe that complaining is my God given right and a survival mechanism of marriage and motherhood.

However once in a while the Hubs needs an ego stroke.

So here goes, 10 things I love about Bill.

1) He dances, when he’s happy and when he thinks he’s getting a root.

2) He laughs at himself, I can blow him up in videos as often as I want and share it with the queens. Bill’s cool with it.

3) He’s bald. I hear a lot of negativity around male baldness, from people who clearly haven’t had a boyfriend come home with nits. Give me chlamydia any day over nits. Rock on bald men.

4) He loves me!!! He’s not grossed out by the eczema around my vag or the fact that I spend a lot of my free time itching it, he also cool with the fact that I’m a house wife who doesn’t cook or clean, with minimal complaints. Go Bill.

5) He loves a good goss.. Queens call him with info before calling me..

6) He’s supportive, I whinged to him once that none of the school mums want to be my friend, he put his arms around me and said “fuck em. They don’t know what they’re missing”

7) He works long hours as a carpenter, so that we can do all the things that we wouldn’t be able to do if his work ethic was anything like mine.

8) He plays tickle monster and hide and seek. Daily.

9) He’s accepting, I wee’d on him once in my sleep when we had just met, I was dreaming about having a wee and it just came out. He literal just threw a towel down and went back to sleep.

10) No matter what we go through, all of our ups and downs.. He always comes back to Queenie

I think it goes without saying that Bill’s got the root of his life coming his way.


Constance Hall

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Constance Hall

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